ASHILFORD TRUST

We believed in extending the nuclear family by adding other adults and children so that we would have one big family made up of distinct units. We talked, planned and decided that this would be of enormous benefit to the children, that it would give satisfaction to the other adults to share in the upbringing of all of the children.

And it works, the children have thrived and are so much happier, fitter and wider-seeking than they were.

But then came our second mistake.

The prime rule is that each nuclear bit must have its own front door, its own independent time, and the adults must keep enough distance to avoid jealousy problems or loss of territory problems. We were too free in our use of each other's private time and jealousy reared its ugly head. Despite all our good intentions about open marriage, adding a new dimension, not taking from anyone and so on, there was jealousy and it was nasty. How such close, happy people can so quickly become so tense and hurtful is incredibly sad.

The third problem was really part of the first two. The financial and co-operative aspects really do work. But there must be emotional space between couples or families and the territorial needs must be recognised. The planning authorities don't help. We got too close for a long-term project. One of the reasons for this was our failure to realise how much longer things take than we expect them to. This is particularly true of building it seems. Making do with caravans and temporarily converted buildings is OK for a few summer months. But by the second cold winter we huddled together for warmth and like over-crowded rats, reacted badly to the overpowering nearness of others for too much time.

So to summarise - it is possible to co-operate, to buy property, to live 'alternatively' - to be largely self-sufficient in food (we haven't got far with the power - co-operatives are like sponges absorbing time).

We all felt belonging and we got enormous satisfaction from our commitment and from our mutual trust working - until time and sex jealousies confused the whole thing. The children have gained a hell of a lot from the extended family in which they live and from the farm and country environment - they are tough, not delicate, now. We've shared most things - some we shouldn't - eventually one of us went and bought 10 screwdrivers because someone had always left one of the other six somewhere else!

We've learnt lots about ourselves and are stronger for it but perhaps not happier. On reflection ignorance may well be bliss. We've made a good investment - shares worth 3,000 pounds in 1976 are now two years later worth 16,000 pounds.

In the spring of 1979 Ashilford Trust will cease to be. It has been a success and a failure. It has been a stepping stone to the next farm Trust which we hope will contain all the advantages of the old and also be wider in its scope. We know a lot about farming and growing and we've learnt lots about co-operative living. We are trained instructors in a range of skills and we have experience in organising courses. Give us a little time to get the new Trust organised and we will be very pleases to pass on both craft skills and the benefits of what we have learned at Ashilford.