Re: [pf] A new list serve

by Betsy Barnum

30 December 2000 05:52 UTC

Molly Williams wrote:

> Yes, I agree with all this that Betsy wrote. I believe my thinking was
> shaped radically by reading Madeleine L'Engle as a child.

It's so interesting you should bring up Madeleine L'Engle, Molly! I, too, love 
her
books, but didn't read them until after I was grown up. They are on my list of 
"books
to reread every 10 years or so," along with Tolkien's Ring trilogy, the Narnia 
books
and Don Quixote, my favorite book of all time and also formative for me.

But getting back to L'Engle. When I was writing what I said earlier, about the 
seeming
paradox of understanding both that my life matters and that the outcome is not 
up to
me, I almost wrote, "the balance of the universe doesn't depend on me." But 
then I
thought about Charles Wallace, in _The Wind in the Door_, when this one little 
boy's
life *was* at the fulcrum, the outcome *did* depend on him. And even though 
it's a
novel, not "true," it has always intrigued me to think that there is a balance 
in the
universe--of light and darkness, as Fox put it, or of life and death, or 
whatever you
want to call it (I know this is terribly dualistic, and I think there's also 
another
way to understand it but I can't even come close to putting it in words).

So if there is a balance, and surely it is a dynamic balance, there must be 
some point
where the balance tips, a fulcrum point, and that could be someone's very 
ordinary
life. It's like an individual vote--most of the votes people cast add to the 
bulk on
one side or the other, but if the race is close, a few of those millions of 
votes are
at the balance point, tipping the total one way or the other. No one knows  if 
their
vote is or will be the deciding one, but someone's is. No one knows if their 
life is
at the balance point, if their decisions are momentous in terms of the outcome 
or how
the balance tips, but we, perhaps, need to live as if our lives were that
important--not because we are personally so important but because it could be 
our life
that is at that balance point (in a way, all of us are, we are all at the 
balance
point....)

Well, this is fascinating and all but the thoughts and words are floating 
around me in
a swirling cloud and I can't follow them anymore! I didn't get to bed until 
about 1:30
last night because a friend and her 18-year-old son, who live about 80 miles 
from
here, returned from a visit to the Northwest yesterday, their plane was delayed 
so it
arrived at 11:30 p.m., and the snowstorm we had meant nearly everyone arriving 
at the
airport was trying to get taxis home (intrepid local family and friends, like 
me,
didn't want to venture out!). So Becky and her son finally got a cab to my 
house,
where she had left her car, and they spent the night here rather than 
attempting an
80-mile drive at 1 in the morning after 8 inches of snow! So we were up, 
getting beds
ready, feeding them a little snack, hearing the story of their flight delay, 
telling
them about the snow, and everyone finally settled in at about 1:30.

My house is too big, really, for the 3 people and one feline who live here, but 
it is
very nice to be able to easily accommodate guests in comfort and privacy. I'll
confess, pf-ers, if I have a weakness when it comes to consumer spending (aside 
from
the occasional splurge on books or CDs), it is for bedding, soft sheets, thick 
wool
blankets, plump pillows, colorful comforter covers....and when unexpected 
guests show
up, I'm glad I have all those extra sheets and pillows and blankets! And 
especially
when it's below zero, as last night, I'm glad I can offer warmth, even luxurious
warmth, to guests.

A few thoughts on cosmology and the morality of the universe, finished up by 
comments
on blankets! It *is* time for me to go to bed!

Betsy

--
Betsy Barnum
bbarnum@wavetech.net
http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/1624

**************************************
No politics, song, religion, behavior, or what not,
is of account, unless it compare with the
amplitude of the earth.
Unless it face the exactness, vitality, impartiality,
Rectitude of the Earth.

-- Walt Whitman