Re: [pf] Vision

by Molly Williams

29 December 2000 14:46 UTC

Kaleopono wrote:

> What is worthwhile in your life today?  What do you want to preserve,
> strengthen and sustain?

Friendships, neighbours, family, animal relationships (pets and wild),
gardens (veggie and ornamental), beauty (human-made and wild), nature --
both the peopled part and the unpeopled (knowing that there is still
some left), discussing and researching ideas, some music, physical
privacy (not seeing/hearing neighbours or having them hear/see me from
their homes or the road), unscheduled days, my marriage, having a spirit
of gratitude, wisdom, centeredness, balance, grace....  
 
> What is so valueless and troubling in your life today that you want to get
> rid of it immediately, if you can?

The political process, media hype, everyday hype and melodrama -- the
seemingly pervasive need to take everything to extremes and/or to make
people fearful about everything. On a closer-to-home level: using the
car all the time, living too far from friends and family (500 miles or
more in most cases), having to constantly research my food (is it
organic, are there GMOs in it, are there so-called natural flavours in
it, is it local or not, etc.) and constantly having to make decisions
everyday about what I eat, or feeling guilty if I ignore these issues. 

In fact, if I could eliminate one thing in my life right now, it would
be what I see as the never-ending need to gather information and
evaluate it, and re-evaluate it,  before I take any action, no matter
how small. Choosing a laundry detergent takes hours of research. I feel
the impact of everything I do and am always trying to reduce the impact
or accomplish multiple good outcomes with each action, but it's taking a
toll on my psyche at the moment.

Oddly, I love to research and evaluate resources when I am putting
together web or print resources on literature, art, local social service
organisations, etc. It's feeling that I /have/ to do it each time I make
a move that is so oppressive. And still not knowing if my action is
"perfect."

I feel like every time I settle a question in my mind, someone or
something comes along (including but not limited to my own further
thoughts) that causes me to have to reassess and re-choose. To some
extent, this is just life. It's not static. But it's feeling like too
much and I am looking for a way to change this.

> What falls in the category of trials and tribulation?  Things you don't want
> to eliminate, but need to be structured and carried out differently to be
> manageable and emotionally/psychically/spiritually rewarding?

Spiritual life -- I am moving from a traditional Christian concept to
something else. I don't want to leave Christian beliefs behind -- I just
want to look at them differently, maybe refresh them, and figure out how
they fit into a less traditional spiritual life. I'm in transition and
it's causing me some pain. 

Also, my above answer. I can't eliminate the need to make many informed
choices every day but I would like to eliminate the guilt I feel if my
choice is not well informed or simply doesn't conform to my values or to
what I know. And I would like to eliminate or re-frame some of the
choices.

> Answers to these questions might begin to map out the territory ahead.  Can
> you (anyone on the list) write a short essay outlining the life YOU want to
> have in the future.  What would it look like?  What would it feel like?
> What would it BE like?
> 
> Kaleopono
>